this taste is bittersweet

so i wrote back in highschool. It's my favorite because it was the first real escape I felt from writing:

Your lies are like liquor.

You pour, and take with no reserves.

They burn my throat, but the feelings over ride that.

You are intoxicating.

I'm powerless, I can't say no to you.

When you are away I am so strong, but you make me weak.

I learned from our past, my longing for you has faded away.

Now you're here.

My heart beats so loud I can't hear myself think [the warnings].

One look from you and my strength is gone.

The touch of your hand suffocates my inhibitions.

I'm no longer seasoned.

Desire runs through my veins.

I'm that naive girl once more.

This crisp, cool night is like a dream, finally coming true.

I drift to sleep after praying this would never end.

You and Me, forever, amen.

Dawn comes with a hangover from hell.

The buzz is gone, and I realize it was the same 'ole you.

I question if our love is true.

For love keeps no records of wrong, but ours is far too long.

The words you said creep back up my throat. My brain throbs as I feel the pain of stupidity.

I hope this time is different, for my dignities sake.

I sit and wonder what the future holds, hoping the past doesn't repeat repeat repeat itself.

Our history is scattered. but deep.

Only time can tell if the fairytale will come true.

I can't let us go, but it hurts to hang on.

You were my first, I just want to be you last.

This taste is bittersweet.